Secret Confessions
by idreamof
Summary: Ginny's Diary during year seven book seven, not Ginny's seventh year at Hogwarts. Heartaches, Love, Drama, and Pain, both emotional and physical. This is Ginny's story: her point of view. Warnings: spoilers for all Harry Potter books 1 to 6. ON HIATUS
1. Missing Him

**Secret Confessions**

_Disclaimer: Anything you recognize, I probably don't own. I'm not J.K. Rowling._

July 15th, 1997

I know he did it for a reason. I know he did it to protect me, because he didn't want me hurt, but it still stings, Diary. It hurts like hell. I feel like crying, but I know I'm all cried out for now. I want nothing more than for him to hold me in his arms. I want to smell his shampoo again, feel his lips on mine again. I know its only been a month or so, but it feels like years. I guess love does that to you. I don't care about bloody death eaters. I only care about him. His shining emerald eyes, his soft, dark hair; that quirky smile he flashes every so often... I can't stand being without him, Diary. I know he hasn't left on his "journey" yet, but it feels like he's already dead. Dead and unreachable. I miss him more than you could believe.

- G.W.

July 16th, 1997

I overheard Ron talking to the twins about him. They say he's coming here soon, before the wedding. They haven't told me though. I think they think I'm over him, or that I don't want to talk about him. They're right there. I don't want to talk about him. Its like I'm torn in two. Part of me wants to forget him, and move on. Not because I hate him, but it just hurts so much. And yet, I know I could never forget him. He became part of me, in a way, during the short time that we dated. I know I've dated other people longer, but I was never really committed to those relationships. It was kind of part of my denial. Denial that I didn't love him; that I was over him. I know I never was though. From the moment I first saw him, that September, when he was starting his first year. We were meant for each other, in my opinion. A perfect match. I could see it in his eyes, when he looked at me. He loved me, I know it. Bloody war. If it weren't for the war, he would have his parents, and Sirius. Dumbledore would be alive... We would be together. But I can't change the past, only the future. We'll be together. We're meant to be.

-G.W.

July 17th, 1997

I feel like my heart breaks repeatedly everyday. Hermione came over this morning. I watch her and Ron together, and can't help but feel a pang of jealousy. We could have had that, that love. I watch them cuddled up together on the couch, Hermione's head resting on Ron's shoulder, and I can't help but replace their faces with ours. I think we deserve that, after all we've been through. I'm not saying Ron and Hermione don't, as they've been through just as much... but... it's complicated, Diary, and I don't know how to explain it.

-G.W.

July 18th, 1997

What would he say if he were here now? Would he apologize to me? Would he make it up to me? I would like to think so. I know he loves me. He looked so heartbroken when he told me we couldn't be together. I knew it was eating him up inside. I could see it in his eyes. His eyes. They're like.. A window to his soul, or something else like that... even if he hides his emotions behind his actions, you can still see everything in his eyes. Their expressive green always betrays the sadness, grief, and despair in his mind, and the... resignation. There's no other word for it. He always seem so resigned. To what, I don't know. He didn't tell me. But I can see it, in his emerald eyes.

-G.W.

July 19th, 1997

I miss him, Diary. I want him back. Fleur and Bill came back from a visit to Fleur's relatives. They looks so happy together. I watch Bill and Fleur, Ron and Hermione... it makes me regret things, Diary. I don't know why, or what I regret, but I do. Sometimes, when I sit here alone, my mind wanders, and I find myself thinking... did I do something wrong? Did I say something that betrayed the fear inside me, causing him to want to shield me from the outside world? Was it, in some way, my fault?

-G.W.

July 20th, 1997

I caught Bill and Fleur kissing today, in the linen closet. It made me happy for them, but I couldn't help but think of all the times me and Harry were kissing in a closet, cut off from all the misery outside. I know this sounds odd, Diary, but inside a closet, you feel safe. Its just you and him, in that closet... no evil, or sadness... no death, or despair... just me and Harry, safe in our little.. Bubble, I guess. And nobody could get us in that bubble. We were free of worries, grief... I miss those times, Diary, and I want him back, so we can go back to that bubble of safety, and feel free again.

-G.W.

_AN: _

_Review please! Should I continue? _

_It will mainly follow the plotline of my other story, The Horcrux Quest. It will all be from Ginny's point of view, as this is her Diary. However, I may alter some things, and dates might not all be the same. _


	2. Conflicting Emotions

**Secret Confessions**

_Disclaimer for all chapters: If you recognize it, I probably don't own it, and it belongs to J.K. Rowling._

July 21st, 1997

Fred and George invented something new today. I forget what they called it. Smashing hats or something. Too happy for my liking. Sometimes I can't help but feel bitter, and rather selfish. If I can't be happy, then no one can. Well... maybe they can. I don't know, actually, Diary. This war is confusing me.

-G.W.

July 22nd, 1997

They paraded around the house in their hats today. I envy them for their resilience. It seems like nothing can get them down. I wish I could be like that, but my happiness seems to depend on him. Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't be blaming all this on him, butother timesI just can't help myself, and it feels good to place the blame on some one else's shoulders. I think I should be ashamed of myself.

-G.W.

July 23rd, 1997

I heard Fred, George, and Ron talking again today. Hermione was there too. They were discussing ways to go pick Harry up. They said they were going to get him on the 29th. Six more days until he gets here. Six more days until I get to see him again. I feel happy about it, but I also feel unbearably miserable. Somehow, I know that things won't be the same with us, at least not at first. We won't be a couple anymore. That means no kissing in closets, or just snuggling up on the couch together. I know I'll miss it terribly. I already do. Oh Diary, I wish things could go back to how they were. I wish I could just spend all my time in his arms. I can smell his hair now, Diary. I can feel his lips on mine. It makes me sad, thinking that I won't be able to bury my face in his hair, or kiss himfor a long time. Its not always about the snogging in closets, or the fancy dates... what I really miss the most is the simple things: the hugs, the occasional kiss, the cuddling...the comfort ofthe knowledgethat he's there for me... I know he still is, Diary, even though we're not a couple anymore... but its just not the same. I miss him, Diary.

-G.W.

July 24th, 1997

I found a picture of us, Diary. We looked so happy and perfect together. We were sitting by the lake at Hogwarts, him with his arm around me. I looked so carefree. He didn't. I don't think he ever really looked carefree. He doesn't deserve all the grief life gives him; he's such a great person. He's kind, caring, loving, brave... I could go on forever. The world doesn't see him that way though. They all just see him as a tool in the war. When they wanted to deny Voldemort's return, they used Harry, calling him insane and mentally unstable. But when they need a hero, he becomes their hero; the "chosen one". I want to help him. I know I could. But I don't think he'll let me, Diary.

-G.W.

July 25th 1997

Four more days, Diary. It's going to be hard. I know I will want to smother him in kisses, hug him until his bones break, snog him senseless... but I can't. Only couples can do that. Only his girlfriend has a right to do that... and I'm not his girlfriend anymore. It hurts me to think that. It's like a cruel knife, stabbing at my heart. It doesn't just kill me at once. It pokes me.. Trailing the sharp metal across, taunting me. That love is out of reach, but only just. He will be standing there, only a few metres away from me, and yet I won't be able to do anything. Its incredibly frustrating, Diary.

-G.W.

July 26th, 1997

Even Mum and Dad have to rub it in. I know they don't do it on purpose, but they still do it. I saw them cuddling on the couch. Why, Diary? Why everyone but me in love?

-G.W.

July 27th, 1997

That statement wasn't true. I knew it wasn't true yesterday, and I know it isn't true today. I'm in love too. I know I won't be able to get over it. The thing is Diary, that everyone else has someone to love them back.

-G.W.

July 28th, 1997

He's coming tomorrow, Diary. I haven't left my room today. I don't think I can bear watching everyone else talk of him coming, and what we're going to do when he gets here. I heard Fred and George going up the stairs with Ron. Ron mentioned Harry's birthday. I heard Mum talking to Dad about how thin he is, and how the Dursley's probably weren't' feeding him properly... and this was only the things I heard through my door. I don't want to even think about all the things I'll hear if I go out. I want to forget him. I want to forget the empty feeling inside me. I want to forget the longing I feel for him. But at the same time I don't want to forget him at all. I long just to be near him, even if we aren't going to be that close. I want to see him, maybe talk to him. Am I confusing you, Diary? It is rather confusing. But I understand it, even if no one else does. Love is a strange, thing, Diary. You can need it, and need it gone at the same time. You can love it and hate it. Its like a whole bunch of emotions tied into one. I love it and hate it. I need it, and need it gone. Too many problems, and not enough solutions, Diary. When did my life get so complicated?

-G.W.

_AN: how was that? Crappy? Good? PLEASE REVIEW!_


	3. And Life Goes On

**Secret Confessions**

July 29th, 1997

He's here, Diary. I knew he was coming, but it's still a shock. I went to the kitchen this morning, but when I was just at the doorway, I heard his voice. There was no mistaking it. He's here, Diary, and I don't know what to do. Should I go greet him? Should I ignore him? I went to Fred and George's room. They offered to beat him up for me. I told them he didn't deserve to be beaten up. It's not like he cheated on me or anything. A little part of me though, wanted to hurt him. It wanted to make him feel pain like I've been feeling lately. I saw him though, and I know that he's feeling more than twice the amount of pain I am. They said they were going to beat him up though. I hope he doesn't get too badly hurt. He really hasn't done anything wrong. I know he did what he did for a reason. He loves me too much to see me hurt, and here I am complaining about it. I should be feeling ashamed with myself, Diary, but I just can't feel anything other than loss and emptiness.

-G.W.

July 30th, 1997

His birthday is tomorrow, Diary. We planned a party for him. He didn't notice though. It's like life just goes on around him, but he lives in a little bubble. Whether it's a bubble full of grief, misery, regret, or joy, I don't know. I got him a book on defense. I know he'll need it. I have something else I want to give him, but I think it would be inappropriate since we aren't together anymore. It's a locket, Diary. There are two of them. Instead of pictures though, they have mirrors in them. You say the password, and the other locket will heat up, so the other person can feel it. Then you can talk through the mirrors. Fred and George invented them. It was originally supposed to be for communication while pranking, but I didn't buy them for that. I bought them last summer, since I found them interesting, but I never gave the other one to anybody. I don't know why. Maybe I was just waiting for the right moment. They were sitting in a little box at the bottom of my trunk, and I forgot about them. When I remembered them, we had already broken up. I showed them to Hermione. She was worried that a Death Eater or enemy might find them, and use them to eavesdrop on us. But that's impossible. There are all sorts of anti-theft charms on them, as well as a charm that makes it impossible for anyone other than the one it was given to when it was first activated to use it. It's perfectly safe. It's rather handy, as well. I told Hermione to go get her own, for her and Ron to use. We're going out tomorrow, to Diagon Alley, while Ron and Harry go to take their apparition tests. Hermione said that she would get it then. I should have given her mine, as I don't have anybody to give it to now.

-G.W.

July 31st, 1997

Today was his birthday. I only gave him the book. The lockets are still in my trunk. Hermione got her own pair. She showed them to me. They're different though. Mine are gold, with swirls carved around the edges. Hers are silver, with a design of leaves. She said that Fred told her that no two pairs are the same, and that one will only work with its counterpart. That's good, I guess, so nobody can interfere with a conversation. Ron and Harry passed their apparition tests. They now have their licenses. How am I supposed to follow them when they all can apparate? I know they won't want to take me along. Harry will say that I'm not safe with him. Ron will think that his "baby sister" can't take care of herself. Hermione will say that I haven't even taken my OWL's yet. But you know what, Diary? I don't care. I'm going with them. I know they're going to Godric's Hollow first. I overheard them talking. I even know how I'm going to get there. Nothing is going to keep me from following them.

-G.W.

August 1st, 1997

There are two days left until the wedding. Fleur is bloody insane. She's always shouting about something or another. It's driving me crazy. All I want is some peace and quiet. But I'll never get that, will I, Diary? Of course not. My life has never been quiet or peaceful. There are always loud noises and explosions around when you live with Fred and George. It's never boring. But right now, all I want is to sit in the Gryffindor common room, preferably at 1:00 in the morning, as its always nice and quiet then. When it's quiet, it's always easier to sort out the mess in my head, Diary. Even if I can't sort it out, it's always easier to relax. You don't get chances like that in a house with 6 brothers, two of which seem to have an affiliation with bangs.

-G.W.

August 2nd, 1997

The wedding is tomorrow. Everyone is going crazy. Mum's calling me now. I think she wants me to fold napkins or something.

-G.W.

August 3rd, 1997

The wedding is going to be today. I just woke up. They're leaving today. I heard Ron, Hermione, and Harry talking. They're going to leave right after the wedding ceremony. I guess I'll be leaving too.

_AN: PLEASE REVIEW!_


	4. Hidden Pain

**Secret Confessions**

August 4th, 1997

I followed them, Diary. They left the wedding just past midnight. I knew they were going to Godric's Hollow, so I took the Knight Bus there, and waited. I followed them to the graveyard. They spent the night there. Harry slept by what I can only assume were his parents' graves. I couldn't read the names. I don't know if he cried, as I couldn't see his face properly. Ron and Hermione settled down under a tree. I stayed alone by a bush at the corner of the graveyard. It was hard to sleep, though. It's more than a little creepy, spending the night in a graveyard. I was lucky though, as we weren't attacked. In the morning, I followed them to Harry's old house...if you could call it a house... It was mostly rubble though. We went through it all. Harry knows exactly where everything happened. We went in, and found him just staring at the floor. All he said was that his Dad had died there. Then, when we went upstairs, he pointed out where his mum had been killed, and where he had gotten the curse. It's kind of creepy, Diary, but I can't imagine how _he_ must feel. He needs to cry, Diary, but he doesn't. It can't be healthy to keep all that inside. I'm scared for him, Diary, and I don't know what to do to help him. He just goes on with his life, simply moving past all the problems. I don't know how he does it. I know I wouldn't be able to... He's so... resilient, Diary. Less than 4 hours after seeing where his parents died, he was laughing with Ron, at how Hermione and I were going through the books of hairstyles. Well, anyway, we are now different people. Ron and I are Ron and Ginny Weston, and we have hair that's Harry's naturalcolour, and Harry and Hermione are also siblings: Harry and Hermione Patterson, and they both have blond hair. Hermione also got her's straightened. Hopefully nobody will recognize us.

-G.W.

August 5th, 1997

We are in Albania. It's so different. We wandered through the main cities all day, asking muggles if there had been any strange deaths lately. Everyone talked about a forest a bit more north, where they say people have gone, never to return again. The bodies were never found, though belongings had been recovered recently, dropped on the trails. Harry hasn't said anything about going there, but I know he intends to. Voldemorthasobviouslybeen there. We're in a small hotel now. I'm in a room with Hermione. She's asleep already. It's 11:00 at night. She was up for a long time too, reading. She didn't say what the book was, but I saw the title. It's all about dealing with grief, and emotional pain. I know it's for Harry. She's scared for him too.

-G.W.

August 6th, 1997

Hermione told me all about the mission. We have to do some things before Harry can do what he has to. I can't write it down in here, Diary, incase I lose you, and somebody breaks through the anti-theft and privacy charms I've put on you. It's rather frightening. I can't imagine having to bear the burden that Harry has to.

-G.W.

August 7th, 1997

Harry and I are back together, Diary! It's wonderful! This morning, I walked in on him looking at a picture of us, in his and Ron's room. He was sitting on his bed, staring at the photo album. I walked over and sat next to him. Then I saw what he was looking at. I asked him why we couldn't be together, since I was with him anyway. We talked (or maybe argued...) for about an hour. In the end,he agreed. So now we are a couple again! I gave him the mirrors, so now we can talk, no matter _where_ we are. I'm too giddy to just sit here, Diary, and I think I'm going to go have a little kiss with a certain boyfriend of mine...

-G.W.

August 8th, 1997

We're going into the forest tomorrow, Diary. We packed all of our things, so we can quickly pick them up and leave tomorrow, after coming back from the forest. I'm worried, Diary. What if someone gets hurt? What if we all get hurt? What if one of us... I can't even bring myself to say it, Diary, but it scares me so much, just thinking of it.

-G.W.

August 10th, 1997

We went into that forest yesterday. I was so scared, Diary. There were all sorts of strange creatures. As soon as we got into the thickest part of the forest, we were surrounded by Lethifolds. All our assumptions that a wizard (Voldemort, most likely) had been there were proven correct, as Lethifolds can only be found in tropical climates, so someone had obviously brought them there. We would probably have died if it hadn't been for Harry. He immediately cast a patronus at the Lethifolds. Hermione, being shaken out of her shock, quickly cast one after. When Ron and I added our patroni, we were able to repel the Lethifolds. We barely got a chance to catch our breath, before we were attacked by a mass of snakes. I only recognized Runespoors, and a Basilisk. Hermione cast a shield around us, while Harry hissed at the snakes. A few left, or backed down, but others still kept at it. Ron and Harry cast fire at these ones. I shot bat-bogey hexes at all of them. Between the fire and the bat-bogeys, we were able to immobilize them enough to escape. Then we came to a river, but Diary, it was a river of blood, with bodies floating around in it. I knew immediately that these were the bodies of all the missing muggles. I couldn't help but cry a bit. Harry and I crossed the river in a boat. He told me that though the boat would register it if Hermione or Ron got in with him, it wouldn't register me, as I wasn't of age yet. So we crossed the blood river, while Ron and Hermione stayed behind. When we got to the other side, we saw a fog-like mass. You could make out a sort of goblet, or cup, behind the fog. I guess that's what Harry was looking for, as he immediately tried summoning it. It didn't work, so he started to walk through the fog. As soon as he was in the fog, I could barely see him. The fog glowed red, and the river rippled. He came out with the cup, Diary, but he was bleeding badly. I helped him back into the boat, and we crossed back over the river. He fell unconscious almost as soon as he got out of the boat. I cried even more then, Diary, and I knew that that ripple in the river had been his blood being added to the crimsonmix. Ron picked Harry up, and we headed out of the forest as quickly as possible. Hermione went back to the hotel to sign us out and gather our things. We are now in another hotel, in Egypt. I think they were planning on going to get help from Bill, with the Horcruxes. But not today. Today we're resting. Harry's sleeping beside me. Hermione was pouring through all of her first-aid books when we got here. She patched Harry up as best as she could. There were particularly bad gashes on his left arm. He probably used it to shield his face as much as possible from whatever was hurting him. It's bandaged up. He still hasn't awoken. He's curled up next to me. He looks so vulnerable. It's at times like these that I realize how un-invincible he really is. He's just like us. He's probably just as scared too, but he knows how to hide it. He's known for a long time.

-G.W.


	5. Sand and Sun Unheeded

**Secret Confessions**

August 11th, 1997

Harry hasn't woken up yet. Hermione spends all her time looking through books, trying to find anything to help him. Ron wrote to Bill. I can't bring myself to leave Harry's side. I'm scared something will happen to him. He looks so... fragile, Diary. All this time he's protected me. Now I need to protect him. If something happens to him, Diary, I don't know what I'll do. I want him to get better soon. I'm so scared for him.

-G.W.

August 12th, 1997

Harry still hasn't woken up yet. We're all really worried. I'm so scared Diary. What if he never wakes up? What if there was some kind of poison that he had to take? What if whatever cut him injected some deadly substance into him, and he's going to be gone by tomorrow? There are so many "what if's", Diary, and, unlike regular "what if's", which are normally ridiculous, so many of these "what if's" could be true.

-G.W.

August 13th, 1997

We got a letter from Bill today. He doesn't know what we want him for, but he says that he's coming tomorrow, or the day after. Apparently, Ron made him promise that he wouldn't bring anybody else, or tell anyone that he was coming to see us, and that he knew where we were. We don't want anyone to know who we are, even the Order. We learned the hard way, that even our supposedly "most trusted" people could be sneaks. Damn Snape to hell.

-G.W.

August 14th, 1997

Harry woke up today! We were sitting around his and Ron's hotel room, talking about what we're going to tell Bill, when we heard him cough. The thing is Diary, it wasn't a cough to tell us that he's awake as in "Hem hem... hello?" (Wow. That brings back rather unhappy memories of Umbridge). He was coughing up blood. It was scary, Diary. Hermione had him drink all sorts of different potions. He seems a lot better now. I talked to him. I think he felt a bit awkward with all the fussing over him we were doing. I don't think he's used to it that much. I don't think his aunt ever fussed over him, or babied him. It makes me angry that such a wonderful person would have to grow up with such revolting people. He deserves better. Bill also came today. I didn't talk to him much. Hermione and Ron talked to him (after using Veritaserum to make sure that he really was Bill). They told him about the things we have to destroy. He's going to help us make some protection charms and stuff, incase something goes wrong with destroying the things. He knows a lot about it, since a lot of the stuff he works with at Gringotts (curse breaking), is dangerous. He can't help us with actually destroying the things though, as he's never done it before. We're going to change our appearance again. I'm going to be Hermione's sister next. Harry and Ron will be brothers. What should I do to my hair now, Diary? I was thinking of making it a light brown, or maybe getting highlights.

-G.W.

August 15th, 1997

Bill taught us all the protection and shield spells he knew. We don't have any other reason to be here, so we're leaving tomorrow. Harry's doing better, but still not quite well. His arm is still in bandages. He's going to have a lot of scars, unless Hermione finds something in one of her books to clear them. We had a little laugh, although it wasn't really just a joke. He asked me if I would still love him with all the scars. I told him I don't care. And I don't. He's so goddamn sexy, no matter what. Also, its not the looks that count.

-G.W.

August 16th, 1997

We're leaving today. Harry's still not perfectly well yet, but we can't spend any more time here. We packed up all our things. Bill came to say goodbye. He's not allowed to tell anyone that he knows where we've been. Wizard promises aren't that easily broken. I have to go now, Diary. Hermione is calling me to help check the room for anything we've forgotten.

-G.W.

August 17th, 1997

We're in France now. I'm not really sure why we're here. Hermione said it was just a stopover on our way back to London, so that we could get our hair done again. That makes sense. You can't keep getting it done in the same place. So we are Ginny and Hermione Gibbler, and Ron and Harry Jameson. Hermione and I have dirty blond hair. Harry and Ron have a light brown. Harry also got contacts, so now his eye colour matches Ron's. Hermione and I both got contacts, without a prescription or anything, so now our eyes are blue. I kind of like my new look. I've been three different people in less than 3 months. I guess we'll keep changing, so that nobody will be able to track us down aseasily, and our appearances won't give us away. Harry's also doing better. We actually had a little snog today, Diary. I don't think Ron knows though... Hermione might. She knows everything. Sometimes its rather annoying, since you can't keep any secrets from her. She always figures everything out. I wouldn't want her to change anything about herself though. Everyone has little flaws, but sometimes, that's what makes you like them so much.

-G.W.

_AN: Review please! come on... it's my birthday.. Please? A little itty bitty review?_


	6. Hello Again, London

**Secret Confessions**

_Disclaimer for all chapters: I am not J.K. Rowling. She owns the Harry Potter world. I do not. _

August 18th, 1997

We've decided to shrink ourselves. Well, Harry and I are going to. We are currently hiding in a cave, and since I don't know France, I'd say we're in the middle of nowhere. Hermione is brewing the potions. Brilliant, brilliant Hermione decided that we couldn't head back into London looking basically like we did before, only with different hair and eyes. Names wouldn't matter if someone recognized our faces. She decided that we would pretend to be a family. So, Hermione and Ron are going to age themselves so they look about 35, and Harry and I will be... smaller, I guess. According to Hermione, we get to keep our current minds. Otherwise, I know Harry would never have agreed. He's still walking with a bit of a limp, and his arm is still in bandages. He's probably hurting more than he lets on, but you know him, Diary, he wouldn't tell us unless the fate of the world depended on it. But maybe I shouldn't be joking about the fate of the world, seeing as the fate of the world does depend on him. Hermione's coming over to me now, with a goblet. I'll be right back, Diary.

Well, hello again. According to Hermione, I am now twelve. Oh, joy. I remember being twelve. Not as bad as eleven, but definitely not one of my best years at Hogwarts. Harry's yelling at Hermione now. It's quite amusing, seeing as he's only about three feet tall... I guess Hermione neglected to tell him that he'd be six years old, physically, after taking the potion. He looks to be only about three or four. But then again, he's always been kind of small for his age. He's glaring at me now, I guess I didn't really manage to hide my amusement. He's an adorable kid though, but I'd never dare tell him that. Or maybe I would... I might be able to use his new... stature, to my advantage. Now, unfortunately, our hair's back to it's original colours. Hermione's heading out to pick up some hair dye. I guess we'll be doing the colouring ourselves this time.

-G.W.

August 19th, 1997

We are now the Wilsons. Charles and Helen, ( Ron and Hermione), and their 'children', Jennifer, and James. So we weren't all that creative, but whatever. I don't think Charlie will mind that Ron's "name" is basically his. Actually, I don't think Charlie will even know, unless we tell him when this is all over. I'm just going to go on ignoring the possibility that we might not all be here when this is all over. I don't like morbid thoughts, Diary. A less than pleasant reality is bad enough. Ugh, fine, I just documented the fact that we might not make it through. STOP MOCKING ME, DIARY. Wow. I'm pissed off at a book. I need to get out more often. Isolation isn't good for my health.

-G.W.

August 20th, 1997

We're back in London. Harry has taken advantage of his new size. He declared that having to take twice as many steps as the rest of us was a pointless chore. He then proceeded to run and jump up onto Ron's shoulders. How he managed to jump that high is beyond me. He probably used magic. Wordless and wandless... he must be getting good. Either that or he's learned to jump almost twice his height. So now he is getting piggy-backs. He's still got that limp though, from what I saw before he decided he didn't like walking. Actually, now that I think about it, he was limping on the other leg back when he was taller. I'll have to check that out. He didn't say anything about it though, and was obviously trying to hide his pain, like he normally does. We're in some pub on the outskirts of the city. They had a few rooms for staying in, so we're staying here for the night. I don't know if we're going to head back to the area around the Leaky Cauldron or not, as it might be too risky. But then again, we barely look anything like ourselves now. Well, Diary, Hermione... er... Helen... is calling me to eat. I'll be back.

I was watching Harry, diary, and he seems a bit off. He moves... gingerly? I don't know how to describe it. He moves as if moving hurts. But why should it? His injuries from Albania disappeared after he took the potion... well, the one on his arm did, anyways. I didn't see his legs. I don't understand it. However, I do understand the strange flash in his eyes every time he has to address Ron and Hermione as "mum" and "dad". It wouldn't be a word he used very often before, and never when addressing people. I hope his memories don't cause him too much grief. I hate it when he's hurting.

-G.W.

August 21st, 1997

I now know why we're here. Voldemort used to live in an orphanage. Said orphanage is down the street. So, we're going there-either to gather more information, or to find a horcrux hidden there. We found out what was wrong with Harry last night, Diary. I never knew. And never, not in a million years, had I guessed. They hit him, Diary. The Dursleys used to hit him. We got the "family room" in the pub. Biggest room they had, they said. Three beds, one twin, and two singles. Ron and Hermione are sharing, and Harry and I get the little beds. It was really late, and Harry and Ron were already sleeping. Hermione was reading, and I was just watching Harry. I'm allowed to do that, Diary, I'm in love... even if he is currently in the body of his six-year-old self. I was, if you must know, Diary, thinking about how he rescued me in my first year. He had kicked the blankets off in his sleep, and was curled into a ball. He always sleeps like that, Diary, and, before now, I'd never thought there was a reason why. But anyway, his shirt was a bit rumpled, exposing some of the skin on his back.. I didn't really notice anything at first, but when he shifted slightly, and the shirt lifted more, I noticed the large, purple and blue spots on his back. They were bruises, Diary, and when I quietly got up, went over to his bed, and lifted the shirt higher, I saw more of them, some in the shape of a large hand, as well as numerous red welts, from what looked suspiciously like a belt. I guess the potion was very... precise, as this, apparently, is exactly how he was when he was six years and... twenty days old... almost twenty-one days. I called Hermione over, and that's when Harry woke up. Boy, was he ever mad. But, Diary, ashamed as I am to admit it, It's hard to take a three-foot-tall kid yelling obscenities at you seriously.

_AN: Yes, l like little Harry. Please, no flames, but I like reviews. Sorry for the very, very long delay... I have no excuses, other than I had writer's block. And I was too lazy to try to come up with anything. Please don' t hate me. I hope you enjoyed it._


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